Understanding Men

Women (my self included) have a tendency to act as if men are really simple and easy to understand.  And while this may be true in some cases (like, who REALLY needs to ask what a guy's thinking at a bikini contest?), men are a lot deeper than women give them credit for most of the time.  However, a man’s mind does work a bit differently than a woman’s in most things, for which we should all be incredibly grateful.  Here are some of the biggest differences- understand these, and you are that much closer to understanding men.

Bear in mind, however, that these are just generalizations.  What I say of men might not be indicative of ALL men, and the same goes for what I say about women as well.

A traditional relationship arrangement looks something like this- man provides, leads, and protects; woman looks after the house and kids.  Man= warrior, woman= nurturer.  And still, on the most basic level of our psyche, these things are true.  It explains so much- why men have the hardest time multi-tasking, what gives men purpose in life, and even why men don’t talk as much as women do.

Men have issues multi-tasking not because they are not as intelligent as women, but because it could be detrimental to the sort of things they are inclined towards as warriors.  See, women, as nurturers, have to be able to think of and manage 50 things at once- the ringing phone, the kids’ homework, the baby crying, the dog barking, making breakfast, brushing the kids’ hair, the doorbell ringing, what they’re going to make for dinner, what needs to get done today, what they need to pick up at the grocery store, everyone’s schedules, etc. - and they have to do it all day, every day.  Men, as warriors, don’t have that problem.  A distracted warrior is a dead warrior.  A distracted hunter is a hungry hunter.  They need to be able to focus entirely on the task at hand in order to have the greatest chance of success, and they really want to succeed.  They base most of their own self worth on whether or not they succeed in their chosen ventures.  I have known men who didn’t want to retire because they based their value in their family and in society entirely on their ability to continue to bring in a paycheck.  If they couldn’t do that, their family would no longer love them, and they’d be better off dead.  Of course their families didn’t feel that way at all, but that didn’t stop these men from feeling that way, at least not at first.  They realized, as time went on, that they were still useful, and still could do things that benefited the family, but didn’t need to work at a job to bring in money any more- they’d done a great job, and they were well set up to retire.  This same intense drive is why men don’t talk as much as women do.  There’s a saying that is so, so true- “Men talk for information, women talk for interaction.”  The purpose men and women find in conversation is totally different.  Women talk to strengthen bonds between themselves and others.  Men talk mainly to dispense or receive useful information that will assist them in achieving their goals, which usually include being a good husband and father and providing for their family.  That also explains why men get so jumpy talking about their “feelings.”  That information is not relevant.  This warrior psyche also explains why men get jealous, fight and then don’t really hold grudges, like to sit out on the porch with a shotgun waiting for their daughters on dates, and like to take a more dominant role in a relationship- it’s all about protecting what they really care about, and usually, that is their family.  A man is willing to put his life on the line to protect those he cares about- just remember, when a man is driving you crazy because you just don’t understand why he’s doing something, it’s probably for the same reason you fell for him in the first place- because he’s a warrior.